Thank you for the very relatable laugh. As a Floridian I feel compelled to offer you helpful tips whether you want them or not. I know that with your vacation being over you intend to remain indoors, but for your next vacation or when the kids drive you outside I recommend rash guards to reduce the surface area needing sunscreen application and the deodorant stick looking sunscreen for faces and necks. Then the cloud of death can be kept to arms and legs making your lungs slightly safer.
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