Guys! It’s almost summer, and I love summer! Except that I’m lying, and I actually hate it. I know what you’re thinking, “SUMMER IS THE BEST. I LOVE SUMMER. WHO DOESN’T LOVE SUMMER?”
I DON’T. I DON’T LOVE SUMMER. And here’s why.
-Sunburns. Because the Earth is so close to the sun (henceforth known as sky fire) that it literally burns the outer layer of your body.
-Sweating. Because it’s so HOT that my body tries to cool itself off by covering me in a layer of smelly liquid.
-Mosquitoes. Because the only time it’s cool enough for me to actually enjoy being outside, these little assholes show up and try to STEAL MY BLOOD. And if that weren’t bad enough, they only use my blood to make more baby mosquitoes that are going to grow up and ALSO STEAL MY BLOOD.
-The expectation of doing things. Because during the summer, people expect you to go outside and do things, but I really like staying in my house and not doing things.
And those are some of the reasons why summer is stupid. And no, just because I don’t like summer doesn’t mean I like winter. Winter is also stupid, but that’s a post for another day.