It’s not easy being the dramatic person in a relationship. You are constantly having to convince your significant other that the worst possible outcome of every scenario is definitely going to happen or that even life’s tiny inconveniences could possibly be the death of you. Cody is always all, “You’re being ridiculous, Laura. Just because the pool is chilly doesn’t mean you’re going to freeze to death” and I have to be like, “Did you SEE the movie Titanic?!” I shouldn’t have to be the only person in this relationship predicting our deaths at every turn.
He has at least stopped arguing with me for the most part. The other day, he didn’t even flinch when I asked him to carry me inside because my flip flops were wet from the rain, and I was definitely going to slip and fall. Other times, he still takes some convincing. Like this conversation that took place between us earlier this summer.
Cody: We should take the kids to Indiana Dunes this summer.
Cody: It would be fun.
Me: What’s at Indiana Dunes?
Cody: Big sand dunes.
Me: What do you do there?
Me: ……….. So you want to take two young kids to go hiking IN THE DESERT?
Cody: It’s not a desert.
Me: Hiking giant sand dunes in the middle of the summer heat sounds A LOT LIKE VISITING A DESERT.
Please tell me why this conversation should have ever taken place between us. HEAT? HIKING? BUGS? BEING OUTSIDE IN DESERT LIKE CONDITIONS? IT’S LIKE HE DOESN’T EVEN LOVE ME.
There was also the time I was in our bedroom alone, and I thought I heard a noise under the bed. Using my incredible intuition, I immediately knew it was a mouse. I did like any normal person would do, and I panicked. I yelled for Cody who was in the living room, but he didn’t hear me. I called and texted him on his cell phone. No answer. I heard the noise again, and I fainted. And by fainted, I just mean that I fell over and moaned “I’ve fainted!” hoping Cody would hear me.
It turns out there was never a mouse under the bed, but…and I cannot stress this enough…. THERE COULD HAVE BEEN.
Have you seen the movie Finding Nemo? You know the part where Nemo’s dad tells him not to leave the reef and everyone thinks he’s overreacting? AND THEN NEMO GETS KIDNAPPED?
What about The Lion King where Mufasa tells Simba to never go to the shadow land but Simba thinks he’s being ridiculous? AND THEN SIMBA IS ALMOST EATEN BY HYENAS?
Basically, what I’m trying to say is if everyone were more like me, the world would be a safer place. Pools would be warm, no one would ever go to the desert, all mice would be caught, and children’s movies would no longer exist.