I’m good at doing a lot of things; like beating candy crush levels, catching pokemon, taking naps, and pie eating contests (I’ve never actually been in one, but I feel like I’d be pretty good at it). But I’m not good at waking up in the morning. This problem has gotten significantly worse since my son started kindergarten a few weeks ago because we now have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn.
It starts the night before by checking to make sure all 50 billion of my alarms are set for the next morning. It looks a little something like this:
I set my first alarm for 6:20 am because I have never been able to go from a deep sleep to jumping out of bed in the morning. I don’t actually need to get up at 6:20 to have us all ready and out the door on time. The goal is that I will wake up to my alarm, turn it off, and fall back into a lighter sleep so when my next alarm goes off, it will be easier to wake up.
What actually happens when my 6:20 alarm goes off, is that I use my phone in my sleep. I don’t even know how to describe what happens here because I have no idea. I’m either confused and think I need to be getting up right away or maybe I think if I play on my phone I’ll wake up a little more. I don’t know. All I know is that most of the time when my next alarm goes off, I wake up drooling with my phone on my face and no memory of what I was trying to do. If you ever receive a mystery message from me at 6:20 in the morning, please ignore.
After that, I groggily turn off all my alarms one by one as they go off until I roll out of bed 20 minutes before we need to leave so I can rush all of us to get ready to be at school on time. That’s my morning. And it’s still August. By January, his teacher should probably just expect me no earlier than 9 am.
The worst part about waking up early is that I can’t even complain about how terrible it is because my husband wakes up an hour earlier than we do. I’ve tried a few times to complain anyway, but he always just looks at me like this.
In conclusion, if you ask me to do anything for you early in the morning, I’m most definitely going to be late. And if we could just make school start at like noon, that would be great.